I have to go to work and leave my parent alone;I know he should be in a care facility for his own safety but he won't go. I am so frustrated. What can I do?

This question is coming up increasingly among caregivers. Unfortunately there is no simple solution. As long as a senior is mentally competent, he has the right to live where he chooses and cannot be forced to move into a care facility. As many of us know, however, this stubborn, independent attitude can lead to disaster if the person falls or has some other type of accident. If a crisis does occur, it may force the situation but usually at a great cost to both.

Consider the following:

• Call an advocacy centre for seniors and ask for any help/ideas they may have.
  
• If you can afford it, try to get someone into the home to be with the parent.
  
• Try to get the person to wear a personal alarm that he can set off if he falls, etc.
  
• Talk to other caregivers -- learn what they have done.
  
• Continually talk to the person; remind him that if he wants to remain independent, he has to start to accept help.